My Very First Prenatal Exam

Shortly after finding out I was pregnant, my husband and I joyfully skipped off to my first prenatal appointment. We were both so excited and ready to see our very first baby, in our very first sonogram, AND, as my cousin had informed me, hear our very first baby’s heartbeat!

We waited patiently, but also anxiously, in the exam room for the doctor. Once she arrived and talked to us a bit, she had me prepare for the ultrasound. As the image appeared on that black and white screen, she said nothing. My heart raced as I waited for her to explain what was on the screen.

Time has made the details a little hazy, but she basically told us, “I can’t confirm the pregnancy because all I can see is a gestational sac.”

I asked, “But doesn’t a gestational sac mean I’m pregnant?

“She said, “I can’t confirm that.”

So many thoughts went through my head at once. What?! I might not be pregnant? I don’t understand! How can there be a gestational sac without a pregnancy?

Disappointment

When my husband and I were wanting to have a baby, we expected that I would become pregnant within a few months. Three years later, we were frustrated and discouraged. I asked a friend of mine to pray. She had struggled for years and then had her miracle baby.

Wisely, she cautioned me, “Don’t let conception become your idol.”

This is something that I really needed to hear as I was letting our plan to have a baby overtake my life. I felt like less of a woman because I wasn’t becoming pregnant and I was resentful of my husband because I was certain he didn’t care as much as me. I know now I was angry with God although I wouldn’t have admitted it at the time. Why wasn’t He letting my husband and I have children?